As many of you probably know, last night was the Season Finale of the Bachelorette. Before I get into my thoughts on the conclusion of the show, there are a few points that I would like to take a moment to make. There are a large number of people that believe The Bachelor/The Bachelorette is entirely staged and made up. Many people believe that the drama is created by the producers, and the ‘love’/feelings are an act. While I am not an expert on the production or directing of these two ABC shows, I do have several strong beliefs that negate these claims:
First off, when you put a large group of men or women in the same living space for an extended period of time, and tell them they are all ‘competing’ for the same person, there’s no need to add on extra drama. That scenario presents all of its own drama. Jealousy and insecurity are undoubtedly at play. For men (especially) who are ‘competing’ for the same woman, displays of aggression, masculinity, and hostility are also often at play. Drama is naturally inherent in this type of competitive situation. This is a show however, and there is editing of footage. Therefore, I am sure that editors pick and choose scenes which will portray the most excitement, drama, embarrassment, etc. We are definitely shown only a small percentage of the entire footage, and are only exposed to certain aspects of peoples’ personalities, giving us a very narrow view of what these people are actually like. It takes an artful finagling of footage to mold the show in such a way that is entertaining, dramatic, and influential…and trust me the editors of the Bachelor/Bachelorette have mastered this.
The people on this show are not actors. They are regular people that are selected by submitting an application and showing up for casting calls. Although the term “casting calls” may sound like an “acting” type of interview, I am sure that producers are just trying to determine whether these people are reasonable enough to air on television, or are a good potential match with the Bachelor/Bachelorette. Bear in mind though, that ultimately the casting directors are in charge of selecting the people that will be on the show. Therefore, they probably choose a handful of silly, outrageous contestants that will likely just add entertainment value to the show.
The feelings that are expressed on this show are real (although, of course, the nature of the show intensifies emotions), and several of the couples that resulted at the end of these seasons have progressed into marriages and families with children. If you really think it’s all staged and acting, then how far does that go? Why are many of the couples still together? Of course, not ALL of the couples have lasted. Can you really expect them to? Going on extravagant dates on helicopters and yachts doesn’t last forever, and a lot of the excitement wears away as soon as the show ends. Real-life problems begin to arise for the couple, which is not yet familiar with working through these types of issues. But honestly, if 50% of these relationships do end up working out, then that’s about the same odds as real life these days anyways…no? Also, not every person who comes on the show is looking for love and marriage. There are many people who come on the show for the wrong reasons—such as fame. It is not until halfway through the show that we begin to realize who these people are, and what they are there for. So probably only half or less of the original contestants are actual, reasonable contenders for the purposes for finding love with the Bachelor/Bachelorette.
Anyways, let’s get to the good stuff…So about last night:
I have to say, from the very beginning of the show, I was rooting for Peter. I saw instant chemistry between Rachel and Peter, and I could tell that Peter was very sincere and genuine with his feelings toward Rachel from the very start. Peter was honest throughout the progression of the show, and he was open and willing to find love. He was respectful of Rachel, and also respectful of all of the other men in the house. He never started drama, or provoked it. Peter was there for the right reasons, and was looking to find a wife.
I do believe that Peter is ready for marriage, however he felt that the 2.5 months that he had known Rachel was not enough to know, with certainty, whether he was ready to commit to spending the rest of his life with her. I think this is totally fair and respectable. Sometimes people can fall in love quickly, and Peter was in love. However, he wanted to propose one time in his life, in the same way he hopes to only ever be married one time in his life. He didn’t want to make this gesture unless he was absolutely 100% certain that this was the woman he wanted to be with forever. He was not asking to break up. He was asking for more time. If Rachel was more confident in what they shared, then she probably would have accepted his request for more time before an engagement. However, I think Rachel was SO fixated on ending this show with an engagement that she gave up a very sincere and loving man for someone who was ready to commit the very. next. day. Peter and Rachel’s breakup was devastating, and if you think they were acting, you’re kidding yourself! Watching that breakup was tough, and undoubtedly provoked a number of familiar feelings for many of the viewers. I cried just watching it. It is clearly evident that Peter and Rachel were in love, and in fact, I have to believe that Rachel may have chosen Peter if he were ready at that time to get down on one knee. So did Rachel make the wrong decision? I personally think so, but I suppose only time will tell.
Do I think Bryan and her are happy together? Yes. For now. However, I believe that he was ultimately the wrong choice for a husband. Bryan seems to me to be less genuine and sincere. He never expressed any ounce of doubt that Rachel was the one, which I think is somewhat unrealistic when placing importance on the prospect of marriage. Having doubt is normal and healthy. It’s okay to feel unsure in ways. I believe that Bryan was afraid to even give the feeling of doubt a chance to surface, which I feel will eventually lead to their relationship’s demise, among other things. Although of course, I wish them the best (moreso for Rachel’s sake).
Last but not least, I’d like to make a note about Peter and Rachel’s interaction on the “hot seat” in the studio last night. Yet again, devastating. It truly doesn’t feel like their relationship is over. More words need to be spoken, and more points need to be addressed. It was absolutely obvious that the love was still present between them, and that Rachel still had feelings toward Peter. It was upsetting to me to learn that Peter reached out to Rachel, but she rejected having a conversation with him. Let’s face it, we all wanted them to kiss and make up…which COULD have happened if Rachel gave him the chance. However, I am sure she refused this conversation out of respect for her new fiancé, Bryan. In this case only, I can respect her decision. Peter mentioned during the show that he felt somewhat “attacked” by Rachel. Although he couldn’t verbalize or elaborate on that feeling, I could see what he meant. I thought it was a low blow for her to outright say she’s “living her best life now”, after he apologized for a comment he made in the heat of the moment of their breakup (which was not even a poor choice of words in my opinion!). The comment was: that if she chooses not to be with Peter, she may be choosing to live a life of mediocrity with someone else. Totally an acceptable thing to say during such a dramatic, and monumental decision. He was only trying to sway Rachel toward having patience for him, and faith in them.
All in all, I feel sorry for Peter. I think he was the perfect husband material, and could have been great for Rachel. While I don’t feel as strongly for her connection with Bryan, I hope that their relationship works out in the end. I hope that my intuition about Bryan’s insincerity is wrong. Truth be told, even though Bryan proposed, the risk is all still there. A proposal isn’t definitive. Whether she chose to be with Peter or Bryan, risks that the relationship would not work out are inevitable. I guess she just chose to have that risk with Bryan over Peter. Sigh.
It was, yet again, a good season of the Bachelorette, and I’m already looking forward to watching the next Bachelor. Wonder who it’s going to be! Any speculations?
While I’d love to see it be Peter, I am skeptical that this method for finding a wife is for him. He deserves to find love in a natural, organic way.
Well, that’s it for now!